Introduction Foreword Table of Contents Ha Ha (BONK!) Ha Ha (BONK!) Start Having Fun. Now. A Smart Backward Kick and Keep on Walking I Don't Even Have a Bodyguard The Cooking Impaired Movin' on Down the Road A Hunk of Cheese, A Thermos of Wine and Thou Beside Me Neat No Longer Kissy Kiss to All from Foxbutt Hall The Painful Truth The Family Web We Scintillate, We're Impervious, We Are 13 I No Like 'Dis Yucky Food! Did You See THAT?! The Cheese Be's Alone Our Friend the Daily Horoscope I Never Sleep! I Never Even Close My Eyes! Two Long-Legged Deer and a Little Squat Gnome Winter Night Hike and the Really Good Moms Guerrilla Child Care Occupation: Wailing Wall (and Worse) Sing, Choirs of Angels Thy Kingdom Come, I Will Be Dumb: On Educating Ourselves Fruit of the Loom Jesus Awk! Term Paper Time! Latin for the Not Yet Dead You're Walkin' on a Dead Guy! Song of an Aging Student Three Square Feet of Primal Ooze Basically, I Just Gave Them All Hammers Julius Squeezer Goes to School I Understand this Stuff Yoppa, Znegg and Shanooz: The Plague of Homework When Will Dad Become a Woman? Nine Months Later it Turns Into You Boy, Oh Boy Perfume-Giving Ken I'm Not Naked! Pod People from the Planet Destructo Smoke 'em If You Got 'em Bum Bum! Nothing But Gonads and a Grin Capture the Cow's Penis On Eagles' Wings The Truth Fairy Shall We Gather by the River? Keeping the Faith A Great Day, Isn't It Sir? Her Name was Mary Who Bends in Concentration to Take His Picture Beyond the Blink of Days The Early Good-Bye Give Me Your Hand The Life is the Light Is Today Tomorrow? Those wishing to obtain a copy can contact me at the address listed on the main page. $9.95 + $2.00 S&H